Today is my brother, Gino's birthday. He would have been 28. I have been in a funk lately, unable to concentrate or even focus on day to day things. I knew that it was because his birthday was coming up. I should have gone to therapy but instead I convinced myself that I was okay.
I was in tears this morning after receiving an email from my best friend and sister-in-law telling me that they are thinking of me today. It's sweet that they remembered my brother's birthday.
Just before lunch, I went to church. That's right, I went to St. Patrick's Catholic church which is around the corner from my work. I was planning to go since last week because I wanted to light a candle for Gino's birthday. I know it's not a big deal, but to me, it is. I don't go to church and I question the Catholic church but something was telling me that I had to go. I lit the candle (or press the light) and sat in a pew to reflect. I have to admit that I found peace there, even if it was for 15 minutes. I cried my eyes out as I talked to "someone" (not sure if it was God or Jesus since I don't quite believe). I went back to work and just tried to get through the day.
After work, I went to visit Gino with my mom. We arranged a nice bouquet and placed our birthday cards for him on his niche. My dad joined us shortly after. The picture above is at Glen Oaks where my brother is laid to rest. My dad and I went off for a quiet dinner and my mom went to meet up with my brother's friends. I am so thankful that my brother has the best friends ever. My mom called all of them and asked them to meet her and they were there in a heartbeat. This really means a lot to my mom because whenever she is with all of them, she feels Gino's presence. I hope they are having a good time and celebrating the way my brother always celebrated his birthdays.
Happy Birthday Gino! I miss you more than you know it.