Tuesday, August 11, 2009

if I can help in any way...

I find that these days my posts are not about my silliness, even though it's summertime and we should all be happy and out their enjoying the sun - there is no sun and summers seem to lately be not such a great time for me like it use to be. The summers now tend to only bring heartaches, a testing of our emotions and a time to think about what we have lost. Two significant deaths in my family have happened at the core of the summer, last year and this year.

I have another excerpt from a book that I want to share but first of all, I want to thank my sister-in-law who has encouraged me to write on my blog about my feelings. I never wanted to post how I feel but if somehow I reach out to my sister-in-law this way to let her know that she is not alone and there is someone else out their who mourns the lost of their loved one, I will continue to write when I can.

The following is from a book I received after Gino's funeral. It was written by my mother's friend's wife who lost her second husband. The book, Love - when you lose the one you love...is full of poems which I can't read as it makes me really sad. I would like to share her Ten Golden Rules for "Life After Loss".

1. forgive your loved one, that they could noy stay longer in this world - spirits may live forever, but bodies cannot

2. look for meaning in being the one who has been "left behind" - remember that we are never in control

3. acknowledge that no one can ever take their place - but that is, what was meant to be

4. grieve on each special occasion that your loved one is "missing" - be comforted that they still "hear" and "see" you

5. the greatest gift of love, is to carry on in place of your loved one - each day, do one thing in honour of their memory

6. allow yourself to treasure what is lost, to mourn what has happened - and to grieve what will never be...

7. feeling the pain of grieve is a confirmation of your love - know that love lives on, for as long as you remember

8. rejoice for the one who has been "called home" - give them your blessing, that they may now rest in peace

9. learn from the past, do not regret it - promose yourself to look beyond for the "unopened" window

10. have faith that in time, you will find new love(s) - which will open your heart and heal your soul

Live with hope and the dream of your spirits being re-united.