Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Two years ago today...

Two years ago, I lost my younger brother. I know that I have written about it before about how I lost my brother and it's something that I still can't believe. I have only seen it in movies and TV shows, people ending their own life but never, in my wildest imagination, did I think that my own brother would end his. Everyday, I think it's just a really bad dream that I am living and that my brother is just gone on vacation but as much as I want to believe that I will see him again soon, I know that he is gone.

As I promised yesterday, I am not going to be sad and cry today. I honestly am so sick of crying because all the tears and sobbing in the world, won't bring him back. I wish so badly that I could go back in time and help my brother and get him through his troubled times. The only thing is...I didn't see the signs, I had no idea so how would I know that he needed help. I guess instead, I wish that he came to me for help. I would have done anything to ensure that he would still be here today.

So, today, in memory of Gino, I want to share with you some random things about my brother:
  1. Gino idolized Corey Hart when he was younger, like five years old. The song, I Wear My Sunglasses at Night totally reminds me of him.
  2. He also use to carry around an Air Supply album with him all the time.
  3. He has a scar on his cheek. To this day, my parents and I have no idea how he got it. All we remember is that he was in the dark kitchen and next thing we know, he is crying and bleeding with a deep cut on his cheek.
  4. As a young teen, he couldn't touch cotton balls. My mom thinks it's because she made him wear cotton mitts as a baby (to prevent him from scratching himself on his face). In his later teen years, he couldn't touch Styrofoam. 
  5. I let him try his first cigarette when he was nine years old. It was a Marlboro Light. I am a horrible sister. I thought that if he tried it at a young age and was disgusted by it, he wouldn't pick up the bad habit. Well, it backfired on me. He ended up smoking after college (or maybe even during).
  6. Gino always loved video games - Atari, Colecovision, Nintendo, Nintendo 64, Super Nintendo, Game Boy, Game Cube, Sega Genesis, Playstation 1-3, Xbox, Wii, PSP - he had them all.
  7. He was the first person I know to get the original iPhone. I still have it with me. I won't give it up. He spent alot of money to get it and even drove to the States (I think Chicago) to get it.
  8. He loved playing t-ball as a child and basketball as a teen and adult.
  9. Gino loved music but couldn't play an instrument or sing, although he kicked ass in Guitar Hero and Rock Band. He would have loved DJ Hero.
  10. He called him and his boys, O-Town (because they are all from Oakville). Yes, he actually watched the first season of Making the Band.
  11. We shared a love for the TV show, One Tree Hill. We tried to watch it together whenever we could.
There are so many more things about my brother I would like to share but I figure I have got many years to ahead of me to do so.

G - I miss you like crazy. Things just aren't the same without you. After all this time you have been gone, I know that you are at peace and whatever pain you were feeling is no longer eating at you. There are so many things I wish you were able to experience and it's going to be hard for me to go on knowing that you won't be around to share memorable moments in my life. Just look down on me once in a while and let me know you are okay. Because I will be okay knowing that you are okay.


tris1978ton said...

Very sorry for your loss. But I'm sure he's looking after you where ever he is now.

Steph I said...

What a nice way to pay tribute to Gino. You had a very special relationship with your brother and I hope your fond memories of him continue to make you smile.