Thursday, May 5, 2011

me & babies: yes or no?

While I was on vacation, I saw some adorable babies/toddlers hanging out by the pool. And for that mere second, my clock ticked..."holy cow, I think I want a baby" - I thought to myself. I actually craved to hold a baby of my own. And then some obnoxious tweens came running through the bushes and jumped into the pool screaming and yelling and out went the ticking of my clock. Babies are adorable but as children grow up, they become irritating and annoying and out of control (this is probably only based on their upbringing because I know some wonderful behaved kids). So, now I want kids but maybe I don't...


Now let's back track a couple of days when we were flying to Cuba. I settled into my seat on the place and flipped on my iPhone to a movie, Sex and the City 2. I have mentioned before that I am not a fan of the movie as a whole but I am abso-f*cking-lutely in love with Carrie and Big's apartment and the life they lead. So, now I don't want kids...



{all photos via}

Now fast track again a couple of days where Mike and I are lying peaceful on the beach with no screaming kids. Mike passes me the current issue of the Details Magazine and asks me to read the The No-Baby Boom article. Very interesting I tell him. Points I got out of the article: kids are expensive, they take control of your life and there are a lot of couples out there who are choosing not have kids.  Really? Show me who those couples are because I only know of one couple (who just reached their 30s and decided not have have kids). So, now I don't want kids or maybe I do...



And then I see my BFF and her beautiful newborn daughter, B. She had a great pregnancy and maybe not the best labour but she is so thrilled and excited with her new addition to her family. She and her husband are truly happy. So, now I want kids...

I just find it funny how my mind goes on and off about babies. It's not that I don't want them, I know Mike and I are definitely ready but we tell ourselves, our time will come when it's suppose to happen and if it's not meant to happen, we will be okay with it. We will just have to adjust our life to mimic Carrie & Big's or we will move to a remote island and live the island life.

A girl from twitter who I knew from back in high school sent me the sweetest tweet and I thank her for it because even if I feel like I want a baby and it doesn't happen right away, her kind words will always be with me:

"I know your baby will choose you soon! xox"

6 comments:

lisa said...

You're not alone in wavering back and forth on this--having kids is a huge commitment and demands significant sacrifice. My fear is that when my time comes I won't be selfless enough to make that sacrifice. :/

Lin said...

Hi I'm Lin & I think you've invaded my brain, haha. No joke, this is EXACTLY what I go through all the time. I want one, I dont want one and then I want one again. It's a vicious cycle but I know exactly what's stopping me from taking those b/c pills...I'm scared of change. A baby will mean my life, marriage, finances, time changing & being a creature of habit I dont know that I can handle it. The hubs ok with whatever I choose to do, now if only I knew what I wanted.

Just know, you're not alone friend!

Medical Librarian said...

I'm 41, and most of my friends who are my age or older either have one child or no children.

I have one, and it's definitely life-changing on every level to have a child.

Just keep in mind--there's no right or wrong answer, and, whether you have a child or not, you'll be fine. :)

inHERshoes said...

my decision is final. no kids. i just don't think they fit into my lifestyle and career demands and it will be selfish of me to make them fit into my life versus the other way around. i love children, but don't want any of my own.

all of my bff's (except for 2 of us) have children. the funny thing is that, our lives and relationships change, too, because of their family. there are no hard feelings obviously, but sometimes when nap time and bed time comes before a much needed girls time - it stings.

Nikolett said...

Ahh it's like you're reading my thoughts! Although my boyfriend is adamant about wanting 3-4 kids (WHAAA so many!) and there are days where I feel like my ovaries are about to explode because of all the cute kids around me, sometimes I wonder if I'm just meant to be a teacher without kids and just teach 'em? I have no clue. But yeah, having kids definitely changes life 180 degrees in the opposite direction; the fact that you keep thinking about it lately makes me think that you and Mike would be great parents and like the idea, but I don't think there's ever such a thing as being 100% ready for having kids, either before, during the pregnancy, or after when you have the child. Besides all these thoughts, I hope you've been having a great weekend! :)

Angie said...

You know I am in favour... LOL!!! But from one Sagittarius to another, we don't make average parents... as long as you are willing to cope with not fitting the mold that others are more accustomed to you will have them and be great!

And remember just because you had them doesn't mean your life won't be the same, plan vacations, go out for drinks still with your friends, but you'll have a new friend now that you are excited to get to know, how much will they be like you, what will you have in common, what can you teach them... it's an adventure, I promise you that!!