...can it ever become sweet again?
It's been exactly one year today that I last spoke to a very good friend of mine. For the past year, I never mentioned it on my blog and I only talked about it deeply with selected friends. I don't really know what happened, it's a blur of events but it ended with my friend cutting me off, 100 % completely. I did ask twice if I could see my friend to discuss but my friend declined the first time because my friend was busy and the second time, I didn't receive a reply. I stopped trying after that. Does that make me a bad friend?
I saw my friend four times in 2012. The first time was only weeks after the blur of events and we avoided each other. The second time we were forced into a situation unintentionally and made small talk. The third time we partied, danced and got drunk and the last time I saw her, we drank and just chatted.
Are we friends again? Yes and no. We are civil when we see each other but our friendship will never be the same. In order for that to happen, we will need to talk about the blur of events. Will that ever happen? For now, not on my part because I really can't pinpoint what I did and I can't apologize for something I don't know I did. Do I want it to happen? Of course! My friend was a great friend and I do miss my friend but there's a lot more, I think, to the whole situation. It's just hard to believe that a year has gone by and we are still not friends.
Will we ever have a sweet friendship again? Maybe. Time will tell. The one good thing I can feel right now is that there is no hatred between us. I greeted my friend a happy birthday on their birthday and they greeted me on mine. That means something right? As long as we can be civil for now and build from that, it's baby steps and maybe one day, we will talk about the blur of events and sort it all out. Hopefully sooner than later because you don't want to go on living life with regrets.